A Fallen World

Today has been a hard day.


The weight of this country and of its people is heavy on me, causing me to seriously question the impact I can make as only one person. To see the fallen world through foggy, gray glasses is much different than rosy, red glasses.

I posted a few months ago about a guest speaker we had at our church. He talked about his life in the gangs and how important it is for Christians to enter into the fires in order to pull out those who are lost, hurt, and seeking an unknown solution. If you haven't read it yet, check it out- Into the Fire, Without Fear.

Recently, the activities of the gangs and their presence has become even heavier on my heart.

While working with the same youth for many months, their lives as I know them have begun to unfold and develop into complex and painful stories. One particular young man stays strongly on my heart.

After being abandoned by the majority of his family and those who were close to him, he went to the gangs. Initially it was only to find drugs and a sense of community, but it quickly evolved into something bigger than he could have imagined. He was mixed up in MS-13, one of the most dangerous gangs in the United States and Central America. Forced to commit unspeakable crimes in order to progress through initiation, he gave up his innocence and traded it for violence. In a miracle that I still do not fully understand, he escaped membership in the gang and just narrowly missed a lifetime of violence, but so much damage has already been done. As I spend more time with him through scattered visits, he opens up more and more about his time in the gang and the things that he has done. Sometimes, he breaks down to tears in remorse, guilt, and shame. The weight of his pain is so evident in his face, in his words, and in his tears.

Through his stories, I have learned more about the gangs and what they do to a person. While claiming to give community, they strip one of one's self, of one's soul.

The pain from these gangs is heavy on any person they encounter. It is unavoidable. Which starts me thinking,
How is there even room for so much pain in the world?
How is there room for so much abandonment?
For so much hate?
For so many tears?

I question the impact I have on this individual's life in comparison to the oppressive past he has faced and will carry with him for the rest of his life. What can I do in response to that?

Turning to my Bible, God is always one step ahead of me.
His words speak so much clearer than those of the gang.

I will not cause pain or suffering without allowing something new to be born.
                  Isaiah 66:9

The suffering and pain of these gang members, both past and present, is evident. But God is so much more obvious. He is new life, revival, redemption. He is love.
He carries the pain that we cannot bear.
He sent his Son to carry the cross so that we need not carry our past of sin.
He gives us a new life, a new future.

Today is heavy and hard.
The world is fallen and broken.
But tomorrow is possible and conquerable because of Him.