Making Disciples

The word 'disciple' is a loaded word; it carries a great deal of weight and meaning.

We have adopted the English word from its Latin counterpart, discipulus, meaning pupil. (dictionary.com)

In the New Testament, the word initially appeared in Greek (as did all other words in the New Testament). The word was mathetes, meaning a learner requiring effort to think something through. (Strong's Concordance)

In the Latin form of the word, it is easy to draw a similarity to English an word that we use fairly often. 

discipulus- discipline

So, what can we really draw from this complex word? A disciple is a learner, but not just that. It is a learner who thinks things through, and if we touch on our English similarities, we can take it one step further:

A disciple is a learner who thinks things through with discipline. 

Now that I have exhausted (and probably bored) you with the etymology, what really is the significance of a disciple?

Jesus gave his last command to his own disciples when he left the earth: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." (Mat. 28:19-20b)

But what does it actually mean to make disciples?

Coming from the United States where megachurches abound, it is easy to get fixed on numbers. How many people are in the congregation? How many new people did we bring in this Sunday? How many will come back next week? How many more can we attract next year?

We are bringing people in, but are we really making disciples? 

In Luke 10 during his Sermon on the Plan, Jesus sends out 72 disciples to the towns where he would soon arrive in order to prepare the way for him.  But, in daily life, Jesus had only 12 disciples. 

What a small number! Imagine a megachurch trimming their congregation to just 12 members. It wouldn't receive much publicity and probably wouldn't be considered a success. I do not presume to say that churches should have such small numbers, but I do believe there needs to be a shift from increasing numbers to making disciples.

Sometimes I get down on myself for the seemingly small number of people with whom I work on a daily basis. There are many that I visit and many with whom I interact, but those who are 'by my side' each day are few. By working with these few, my goal is to prepare them to then go and share with others, but they must be well-prepared first. If I were to have many, it would not be possible for me to prepare them well. And even so, I am not the one who is preparing them. God speaks through me to these young people so that they can know Him and His love. 

Imagine all of the people in your very close circle of friends. I don't mean how many friends you have on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I mean those who are on your speed dial who know each little detail about your life. There are not many, I would guess. Even more in this day in age, keeping up to date on each small occurrence in someone's life is not easy. Now, to have a large circle of close friends in the sense that Jesus was with the disciples would involve sending group updates on a Facebook page numerous times a day, working in the same place, eating most meals together, and then some.

We exhaust ourselves by spreading our friendships so thin to the point that they are almost non-existing. And that spreading-thin seeps into the church, as well. 

We are looking for numbers in the pews rather than disciples in our homes. A warm body does not a disciple make. 

Discipleship involves time, and so much of it. Jesus spent everyday teaching his disciples all he knew about the Father. What time are we giving to our own disciples? And if we are not giving them any, then what are we making? Who are we teaching? 

Jesus sends his own disciples out on the Great Commission in such a simple, straight-forward way. He basically says, "I want each of you to go and find a group of people. Baptize them. Teach these people all of the things I have taught you and teach them to listen to and actually do what I have said." But the catch is, if we are to make disciples, how can we do that without a relationship? If Jesus the Son of God required hours and hours of personal time with his own disciples each day, how can we think that simply talking to thousands of people one day a week will have the same effect? 

Something tells me it will not. 

To make disciples is to create learners who are hungry for the Word of God and who yearn to ponder on His majesty. It is to teach. It is to build daily relationships. It is to show through those relationships the friendship that Jesus extends to us. 

We are so excited in our new ministry to continue making disciples here in Ciudad Espana who will then share their hunger and knowledge with others. Our numbers are not nearly as important as our relationships, and we know that. But we are so eager to stoke the fires of those relationships so that they burn for the Lord.

It is a domino effect. It begins with you; it begins with me. 

So let's make disciples. 

Changed to Green

Typically, when I do my Bible study, I shut the door to my room, grab a big cup of coffee, and burrow into the Word while trying to ignore the incredible amount of outside noise. On rare occasions, I walk about a mile into the mountains to read and study. It's not a particularly fancy place where I go, just a big rock on the side of a beaten-down path. But it's quiet. And let me tell you, that quietude means so much. Today, I was able to go on that walk into the mountains for quiet study time.

Before leaving the house, I was searching on my hard drive for a good picture to use for our new ministry webpage. (Shameless insertion: www.onerevivalministry.com) Instead, I got sucked into looking at old pictures from my time in college. Occasionally, a picture popped up with friends and I after finishing a half-marathon or visiting a pumpkin patch. Most pictures were taken at a bar or during a 'pre-game' party at someone's apartment. As I browsed through the plethora of drinking pictures, my ever-present thought was, "Who is that person?", with the next most popular thought being, "I feel like that was not even my life."

Walking out to do my study on the book of James, I pondered more on that previous life. The pictures had actually made me ashamed of who I was and the priorities I had made during those years.

Two movies came to mind during my pondering: Avatar and Mulan.

Mulan popped into my head for its famous song 'Reflections.' In the movie, Mulan is struggling with not being the perfect wife/daughter and sings about her struggle while looking into a pool of water. She sings, "Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?...When will my reflection show who I am inside?"
Pictures are reflections of ourselves, but they are so easily able to reflect fictitiously. The pictures I found were a reflection of myself, but they certainly do not reflect who I am inside. They reflect a myriad of bad decisions and my (then) desire to fit into a mold to be a certain type of person. To this day, I'm not even sure what type of mold it was that I wanted to fit into, but it surely did not reflect who I am.

More vividly, Avatar came to mind. Jake Sully goes to Pandora, a far away moon, to help the natives there- Na'vi they are called. The movie is a progression of him becoming more and more like the native people. He spends less time in his human body and more time in his avatar body. The movie ends with Jake literally changing his soul- moving it from his human body to his avatar body. The last scene cuts out with him opening his eyes as a Na'vi, not a human or an avatar.

For years, I went through similar progressions. In one aspect, there was my progression to becoming a born-again Christian. On the other hand, my progression away from being 'a gringa.'

I know that for some people, there is a defining moment where one can specifically say, "I became a Christian exactly in THAT moment." I honestly do not feel that way for myself. For me, it is a slow process that is refined each and every day. During my 'lost years' I continued to read the Bible on and off and even attended church and a Bible study group now and then. Even while I was lost, God tapped at my heart to look for Him. When I decided to go on a mission trip in 2013, I was just beginning to 'get good with God' ... if that is even possible.

On that trip, I saw God work miracles in others and experienced them in myself as well. I guess you could say it was sometime during those two months that the Holy Spirit came to live in me. Then, fairly randomly, I woke up. My soul switched from an earthly body to a body filled with the Holy Spirit. Of course, my physical body is the same, but I could not be more different on the inside. Just like Jake Sully, my eyes were opened and I was born again as a new person.

Humans are transient creatures; we are always changing and moving, both internally and externally. Praise God that He has given us the capability to change and yet He is steadfast. We can come from a world of darkness and failure to a life of light and love as He changes us. We are so shifty. And I am thankful for that, otherwise we would all be in such dark, hopeless places still.

 "Every good and perfect thing comes from above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."   -James 1:17

While my first progression was spiritual, the other is more physical/emotional. After being in Honduras for 2 years now, I can't help but notice how it has changed me. Similar to Neytiri teaching Jake Sully how to excel physically in his new body and teaching him the language of the Na'vi, I have also learned to walk and talk differently. Most noticeably, I speak a different language daily than I used to. I've had to learn how to dress and carry myself so that I can blend in better.

When I go to the states, my customs are now rarely those of a typical American. My words get tangled from so little English-speaking interactions. I can't remember to flush the toilet paper. I want to walk and be outside constantly, and I want to talk for hours with people- familiar or stranger.
But it doesn't work. Everything clashes. I have changed.

There is a story of a yellow man who goes to live in a land of blue people. After much time and mixed customs, the man becomes green. He no longer fits in with the yellow people, but he doesn't quite mix in with the blue people either.

I no longer belong in the US with the 'yellow' people, but I so clearly do not belong with the 'blue' people in Honduras. My dyed-red hair, sky blue eyes, and fair skin are proof enough of that.
I have changed. I am green.

So, where does that leave me with my new Mulan, Jake Sully, eyes-wide-open, green, avatar self?

I am left belonging to God and His kingdom. I have put on my new self (Ephesians 4:24) and am changed. My greenness is not proof of my lack of fitting into this world; it is proof that God has designed me and accepted me with all of my past and present faults to belong to His kingdom.

And what a great prize that is!

Looking at my reflection, I no longer see someone filling a void with empty friendships and alcohol.  I see the daughter of the Lord Almighty, Yahweh, Jehovah, Shedinah.


I may be green, but He has changed me for the better, and I am His.

Life Hack

I enjoy using Pinterest, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Mostly, I browse for new recipes and new booklists. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that less and less people read anymore. And, if they do, they don't talk about it much. There's too many other (exciting) things happening in life that literature is thrown aside. In a country where a normal, paperback, English book costs double what I want to pay, I am always hungry for more books. So, I go to Pinterest and prepare a list of books for my Christmas list, birthday list, and to be brought down by me or another traveler. Anyway, while perusing Pinterest recently, one thing repeatedly catches my attention: hacks.

Dieting hacks.
Cleaning hacks.
Organizing hacks.
Camping hacks.
Learning hacks.
Relationship hacks.
Family hacks.

If you need help or struggle with something, there exists a hack.

I list the dieting hack first, because it is always looming over all of Pinterest. For those who are unfamiliar, the site allows users to pick different interests (fitness, outdoors, reading, space, etc.) and only these subjects will be presented in a block-form of articles, recipes, pictures- whatever you have chosen. When I first joined, I listed fitness as an interest. Based on the articles that I am given (pins, they're called) it seems that fitness automatically means dieting. Unfortunately, it is not one dieting article that comes up amongst many articles about fitness motivation, exercises, or healthy tips. The opposite, actually.

"21 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds in a Week"
"10 Tricks to Eliminate Belly Fat"
"5 Diet Hacks to Lose Weight FAST"

I am all for being healthy, but there is something about the word 'hack' that just does not seem to fit when we are talking about the health of the human body. Hack means to cut, trim down, or reduce. Applied to all of these different hacks on Pinterest, and all over the internet, we'll say it means to cut corners, to reduce the effort needed. To hack something means you would love for something to be done, but just don't quite want to put in all of the work to do it. A hack to lose 10 pounds without taking a step out your front door. A hack to reorganize your house by relocating the junk instead of clearing it out. A hack to better your relationship without having to actually have a real, profound conversation.

It is the 21st century, and we are all busy. I know I am.

But, with all of these hacks, I cannot help but feel that we are missing the point.

We are cutting too many corners.

And for what? To spend more time staring at a smart phone as we peer into the lives of others and forget our own? To lose 10 pounds for one week and gain 20 the next? To seem as if we 'have it together' only to lie in bed at night feeling a giant, empty hole inside.

Maybe, just maybe, with all of these hacks, we are literally hacking away at our lives and they're true meaning. Wanting to get to the real meat of our lives, we are hacking away the parts of life that we feel are too burdensome or too much work because they seem unimportant. But those corners we're cutting, they're meat too.

That dieting hack you've found that allows you to lose so much weight in time for beach season without having to exercise or walk outside? Why? For what? Part of the beauty of exercising is actually being outside to smell the air and appreciate the change of scenery, the transient world. Sitting inside with seran wrap on your midsection may make you lose weight faster, but stepping outside not only makes you healthier, it makes you feel better.

Painting, organizing, cleaning hacks? What ever happened to painting a room and finishing with just as much paint on the people as on the walls? Is it annoying? Of course. But it is one fun memory.

One of my biggest pet peeves (and most people know it) is when I am out with friends and my company is glued to their phones. In my opinion, smart phones are one of the biggest hacks of our century. Don't get me wrong, they're extremely useful, but they are hacks. No need to ask for directions, there's an app for that. Don't bother getting a trainer, there's an app for that. The part that irks me is when the apps (code, I think, for hacks) seep into everyday life. You can e-mail from your phone, so you certainly must do it while we are eating dinner at a restaurant. With that hack, that cutting the corner of having to wait until you've gotten home, you have shut me out. You have said to me, without having to open your mouth, that the company of your phone is more appealing than my company. Now, I know I am not the most interesting person in the world. But, if you are agreeing to go to dinner with me, at least give me that hour to 'wow' you with small talk and some fun facts.

So that this blog does not turn into a large rant on my frustrations with society, I will begin to wrap it up.

What hacks do you have in your life?
What are they for?
Do they enrich your life, or do they take away from it?
If you, so to speak, hack the hack, what could you gain?

God's word strictly warns us against getting comfortable in our lives. We are told to accustom ourselves to being uncomfortable. More frequently stated, we are to take comfort in the uncomfortable, the trials. James 1:2 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds." 

The hacks that we have created for our lives are hacks to eliminate the trials. To cut the corners on our suffering for an easier, pain-free life. We pile on hacks and take on new commitments rather than revel in the ones we have already made.

The need to be busy is a need that exists primarily in developed countries. We think that if we are not busy, we MUST be failing in some way. In order to make ourselves even busier, we come up with hacks to free up time that we can fill with something else.

Stop searching for hacks and start recognizing the real meat of your life.

Get off your tush, get your hands dirty, give yourself a challenge, meet someone new, read a book, go for a walk/run, clean your house, spend quality time with your family.
These are not hacks. They are living.

The ultimate hack for life?
Live it.

Dreaming

We all have dreams. As children, we dream constantly about our futures and what we will become. We dream of becoming professional athletes, President of the United States, journalists, doctors, successful businessmen. We dream of travelling the world, learning every language, having families, opening a pet shelter. We dream of changing the world.

And then, as we grow, we are slowly taught to become more grounded, more realistic, and less focused on our dreams. Society tells us to 'take it down a notch' and guides us to a goal that is more easily achieved so that we do not fail. No one wants to be responsible for encouraging someone who may fail, so we are discouraged instead. And, very gradually, our dreams become less prevalent in our lives, and they become small.

Very gradually, we forget how to dream. 

Of course, we have all had at least one or two teachers that continue to impress on us that our dreams do have significance, and that we can do anything if we can dream it. High school walls are plastered with quotes like

   'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.' -Eleanor Roosevelt

   'Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; live the life you have always imagined.' -Henry David Thoreau

But to be honest, we are only encouraged by a select few people to really do what those quotes say. Many others, the voices we hear daily, tell us that our dreams are not possible. "Wow," they say. "That sounds like a great idea, but how do you think you'll do that?" or "That sounds like it will be very hard. I wish you the best of luck!"

Yes, it will be hard. A dream is not worth it if it isn't hard. And I am not asking for it to be easy. I am not asking for a pat on the back and an applause for thinking big.

We have a magnet on our door here in Honduras that says, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" I bought it while I was still in college and have had it on my refrigerator or front door ever since. At the time I purchased it, I was working towards my undergraduate degree in astrophysics. While many people were excited for me and for the opportunities that would present themselves to me after college, there were more than enough people to tell me it would not happen.

When I switched into astrophysics from an English/Spanish concentration, my new advisor was, well, less than encouraging. "You have great grades in all of your classes," he said. "But astrophysics is just not the same. It will be hard, and I'm not sure you will be good for it." In essence, he was trying to tell me that I could not do it. He did not have faith in my abilities, and I should not either. Luckily I am stubborn and driven, otherwise I may have taken his advice and thought twice about that transfer. I graduated in 2013 out of one of the best astronomy/physics programs in the nation.

Later, I decided to move to Honduras, and I was told very similar things about coming here. It will be hard. How will you do that? All of the normal, passively-negative comments. I have been here almost two years now and will be here indefinitely.

Now, we are planning to open this coffee shop/community center. And, of course, I have heard my fair share of negative comments or people who think it's a good idea, but do not have enough faith in me to follow through and to finish this project.

Luckily, they need not have faith in me. Because, with all that I have accomplished in my life (not very much, but a bit), this is something that I admittedly could not do. Not alone, anyway. The dream that I have for this coffee shop is so much bigger than me. It is bigger than you. It is so big, in fact, that it scared me in the beginning. Not because it was a bad idea; rather, because it was such a good idea, and so big, that I wasn't sure how to even start it.

So, how am I doing it?

With faith. Not faith in me, but faith in God the Father. God makes so many promises to us in His word, the Bible. He encourages us to dream and to make goals. Even more than that, He encourages us to dream SO BIG that the only way we can accomplish those dreams is with Him.

  'Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we could ever ask or think, according to the power at work within us...'
                    -Ephesians 3:20 (emphasis added)

I have dreams, and they are big. Particularly, I have A DREAM, and it is HUGE. I know it will happen because God works and He is alive today. He works in the hearts of those who are considering whether or not to donate. He works for our favor as we approach the community leaders for land. He works by putting resources in front of me. He works by lowering costs and opening doors.

God tells us that if we desire Him with all of our hearts, He will do for us far more than we could ever imagine. Sometimes, He works for us in ways we do not even recognize. We want one thing, but He gives us another. Does that mean He is not working for us? Absolutely not. He works for us in unfathomable ways, but only if we allow Him to.

I will end this by asking you what your dream is. Is it big? Does it scare you?

Do not give up on your dreams, and especially do not give up on the power that God has to make your dreams become a reality.

Do not allow the mediocrity of everyday life seep into your heart and destroy the dream you have for your life. Do not become so complacent and faithless that you forget what it even is to dream anymore. And most important, do not forget who the ultimate Dream Maker and Dream Fulfiller is. 

   'Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.'

                     -Psalm 37:4

If you would like to help make my dream a reality by making a financial donation to the coffee shop, you can do so HERE.

Want more information about the coffee shop? Post a comment with your e-mail address and I will contact you! 

Take care.

Be blessed.

Dream big.

Long Time No Talk

Almost a year has passed since I've written a blog post.
It is not because I have lacked potential insight into scripture, the life of a missionary, or thoughts on everyday life. On the contrary; it seems like the more I fail to communicate, the more I want to shout out from the rooftops what God is doing in my life and what He is showing me.
It is also not because I am not doing anything. Again, on the contrary, I have been incredibly busy this past year.

So, why the long wait?

Well, it turns out, writing frequently is not actually easy. I manage to send out an electronic newsletter each month, and sometimes I even cut it close with that. Daily life here in Honduras is just not the same as daily life in the US. Why, you ask?

First of all, everything is made more difficult here than it needs to be. Going to the store is not a simple 10 minute drive to Wal Mart or Aldi. It is a 1 1/2 hour bus ride to the market, another 10-15 bus ride to the actual supermarket, and then the entire trip home. Registering one of my kids for school is not quick and easy. It requires almost 3 weeks of going to the city at least three days a week in order to recuperate papers from all previous schools, some of which now fall in 'hot' (dangerous) neighborhoods.

Second of all, the culture is vastly different. To 'drop-in' and visit someone in the states is just that, a drop-in. In Honduras, that 15 minute visit quickly becomes 2-3 hours. And then your visitor will, more often than not, stay for dinner as well as after-dinner coffee.

These two factors alone do not leave much free time, but they lead me to my second point above- I have been incredibly busy!

This past year, God has blessed me with an incredible amount of opportunities to serve. Some of them I have jumped at, and others I have respectfully declined simply because I could not stretch myself any further.

The coffee shop idea that God gave me last year has continued to grow and mature during this last year, and we have finally arrived at the point where we are officially fundraising! Very soon we will be incorporated in the US, which will allow us to apply for 501(c)(3) status and then mirror that same process here in Honduras. Our goal and vision have remained, and always will remain, the same: to serve the lost and broken youth that plague the streets of this city by showing them the love of their Heavenly Father.

Backtracking a bit, around June of last year, my house gained a few more inhabitants. Three of the young men that I have worked with for years moved in with me. They each came at different times, and aren't always even here together, but boy do they require a lot of energy. Through the grace of God and the patience that He has given me, these boys have survived their first year of responsible living. Each has a job or is actively searching for one, one will finish school this year, and they all participate in daily chores and tasks that are required for them to remain here. They are the best way I could have thought to occupy my spare bedroom, even with their occasional shenanigans!

Additionally, last year I began teaching English to gang members at a prison in the city. For privacy (and safety) purposes, I cannot share which jail, which gang, or any other information that may compromise this project. What I can say is that God is working in these young men and I have faith that He will continue to tug at their hearts until they decide to commit their lives to Him, at which point, He will welcome them home with open arms. During the last months of 2015, I was going to the jail three days each week for 4-5 hours each day.

In January of this year, I began working with another missionary family in Tegucigalpa as a tutor for their own live-in Honduran boys. I work with them in math and physics, and then spend time with Tia Sharon, their adoptive mom (or aunt).

In the midst of all of these things, I have my own daily ministry here in Ciudad Espana, which includes working with various families, street kids, and churches.

So, why am I returning to blogging?

This year will be difficult and will certainly be a test in my faith as we fundraise for, build, and open the coffee shop.
During that time, I would love to continue sharing with you all how each step is laid out and how the Lord shows Himself to me through the entire process.

This post, more than anything, is to play catch-up for those who did not follow my ministry in 2015 so that you all can jump in without too many unknown variables during 2016.

With that said, I pray that you will continue to check in as ministry grows and moves forward this year. We will eventually be reformatting the way we do social media as we create our own webpage and share our updates with you there.

For now, continue to check in every once in a while on this blog as I attempt to rejoin the world of blogging!


If you are interested in donating to my ministry, it can be done on the righthand side of this page. If you'd like to donate directly towards coffee shop start-up, that can be done here:
https://www.gofundme.com/wwz73wrw


Thank you all, and God bless!

Christianity in a Box

This past week I had the opportunity to visit Gracie again at Heart of Christ Ministries here in Honduras. For me, it was a couple of days to have Christian (English-speaking) community and to have hours of uninterrupted quiet time with God. Since being there a year ago, God has provided in huge ways and her ministry has taken off- more than doubling in members and property size! She currently has a month 9 World Race team there with 7 beautiful women, and I was blessed to spend time with them. Gracie has designated shopping days for her to run errands and shop in Tegucigalpa, so I tagged along with two of the racers.

On our way back, I sat in the truck bed with one of the young women and had a great discussion on Christianity. It basically boiled down to this: you cannot put Christians in a box.

I don't mean you can't shove a bunch of Christians in a cardboard box. I'm sure it would be possible in some strange way. What I mean is, there is not a required profile to be a Christian and to live a Christian life. To be a Christian is to live for the Lord, to answer His call, to honor and obey Him, and to love Him with heart, soul, and mind. Aside from that, God doesn't give a 'Christian profile.'

It is almost the opposite, really. God calls us to be different, to be unique, to answer the specific call that He gives each of us, and to respond to it according to our experiences, character, and individuality. If He wanted us to be the same, He would have made us just that- cookie cutter versions of each other.

There are different types of Christians because our pasts shape who we are; everyone has a different testimony. Likewise, there are different types of missionaries because there are different areas of ministry. To think that all ministry is the same and that each person does the same sort of work is false. There are missionaries here who focus solely on support for other missionaries. Without them, we would all be a mess! Others work primarily in schools or partner with existing local churches. Others build churches. Some do informal ministry with house visits, family support, and education support. Some have children homes. Some work in the streets.

We cannot all be put in the same box, the same category.

Because each person answer a different calling and has a different ministry, we cannot all be the same. I will not look, act, or think the same as every other Christian.

In order to accomplish what God has called me here to do, I have to step out of the box of Christianity. Outside of the stereotype and the cookie-cutter perception. I have to level myself with the Honduran people, especially the young adults, in order to reach them. I have tattoos, piercings, and black hair. They can relate to me. But they can also learn from me and from what the Lord has given me. Likewise, they will learn about the Lord. This does not make me a 'bad Christian' because I do not look like someone else. It only makes me different.

What has God called you to do?
Have you stepped outside of the box?

I am sure this post will step on some toes, but maybe that is a good thing. It is beneficial to be self-aware and to recognize how you can better reach those to whom you are ministering.

Here in Ciudad Espana I am continuing to work with the young people and different families. The past month there have been numerous extra visitors almost each night for dinner. It is so wonderful to have them here! To see and feel the response of the community, and especially the jovenes, is encouraging. I love spending time with them and showing them more of who the Lord is. They each have started to take turns praying before dinner and are learning more each day about what it means to be a Christian. Not only that, but they are able to eat a good, healthy meal that they probably would not have gotten otherwise. Many of them come from poor, struggling families who are unable to buy food each day. Pray for each of them that they will accept the Lord into their hearts and that He will continue to bless them!

Because of this increase in dinner guests, I am using a bit over my budget for food. I am looking for one or two supporters that will help this aspect of my ministry so that I can continue to have dinners with these wonderful people and they can learn more about Christ! Please consider helping! I am estimating that it would be two monthly supporters at about $25 each.

God called me to be different, to live outside of the box, and to go into the unknown. He continues to put people in my path and to give me the resources to help them. I am so thankful I am an out-of-the-box Christian!

God bless all of you!

To help with my ministry in Honduras, donations are possible online and through mail at:
www.worldoutreach.org/donations (click Jennifer Olsen from the drop down box)
and
World Outreach Ministries (Jennifer Olsen #263)
P.O. Box B
Marietta GA 30061

Lose Yourself to Find Yourself

In the past week, we went from 98 degrees with a blazing sun to 70 degrees with pouring rain. It has been more than a blessing, but also a struggle. Living in a secure home with a hole-free roof and windows that close, I am able to sit in my house- dry- while the rain passes and nourishes the earth. With the heat from the past weeks, the grounds are dry, the rivers are non-existent, and the crops have little water to grow. We need water. On the flip side, there are countless people that do not live in a secure home like my own. They live in homes made from cardboard boxes and scrap wood that they can salvage from the garbage. They live on mountainsides that throw water and mud from the downpours or in valleys that collect all of that same water and mud. The rain is good, but it is damaging. A blessing, and a travesty. Our prayer: Send the rain, God, but be please be gentle.

There is, however, something about rain that brings me peace. It transports me back to my old apartments on rainy days where I could sit for hours with a good book and a pot of coffee. Yes, a pot. (A cup just never seems to be enough). With little explanation, it connects me to my 'old life' and launches me into self-reflection. How far I have come, how much has changed, how I have changed. And those looming, eternity-long questions, who am I and why am I here?

Then I realize, somewhere along the way, I lost myself. Not like the early 2000's Eminem song, but like someone who has changed. I am no longer the same as my 17-year-old self; the one that people have imprinted in their minds as 'me.' My dreams have changed, my goals have changed, my priorities have changed, and I have lost that old self.

Without a doubt, living in another country changes a person. Or, it should. A culture with different traditions, rules, history. A language that doesn't always seem to make sense. It is challenging, rewarding, and life altering. Even more so now that I am the only gringa in the town that I live in, I have lost. Lost selfish qualities that I used to have. Lost previous goals and dreams. Lost fear and embarrassment (not that there was much less of either for me to lose). Lost self-dependency. Lost unwillingness.

But, I have gained.

Losing myself has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because I have not lost myself involuntarily or begrudgingly. I have lost myself to this culture, but more importantly, I have lost myself to God. And by losing myself to Him, I have gained. I have lost my goals and they have been replaced with His goals, His plans. And boy are His goals better than my own. There is no impossible or improbable. There is only hope.

Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it."
              Luke 9:23-24

I came to Ciudad Espana almost temporarily. Then God gave me a house, community, and new goals. After seeing the need for various services in the community, God has called me once again to step in. In a culmination of what seems like all of my life skills and past ministry experience, I am responding. I will be opening a coffee shop that will sell fair-trade coffee and basic pastries. More importantly, it will be used to teach English classes, tutor, give artisan workshops to women, have small groups for young people, and just generally provide a safe place for the community.

This is not something I would have previously done or even considered. It was not my goal when I came to Honduras, and certainly is not what graduated from college to do. But things change, people change. I lost myself to find myself. I found myself in the plans of God and His plans for this community. I found myself in His love for me and His love for this community. He has provided the plans, the place, and the people. Likewise, I know He will provide the proper finances and resources.

Goals change and plans change, we lose and we win, but God's ultimate plan does not change, and with Him, we always win. We are always found in Him.
The rain comes, and it makes all things nourished and new.




Please join in prayer with me for this new chapter that is anything but temporary.
If you feel called to help, funds will be required for the start-up and initial preparation. Donations are accepted both online and through mail. Details can be found on the right hand margin of the page.