Does this make me a missionary?

And finally, after two seemingly quick months, I am back in the United States.  I have never felt such sadness to leave people or a place before; last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were, hands down, some of the hardest days of my life. Saying goodbye to someone that you have talked with a couple of times is one thing, but saying goodbye to people that God has placed in your life to become part of your family is completely different.  Although my real family is here in Illinois, I truly feel that my home is in Honduras. 

Being back in the US is definitely overwhelming.  I have to re-assimilate to the impatient, unappreciative American culture that I left behind this summer and realize that it has always been that way.  Nothing has changed this summer, just me. Little things that never bothered me before suddenly make me want to curl up in a ball and cry. The entire two days of debrief we heard over and over again, "It's a process. It won't happen right away," and boy, is that ever true.  I have already cleared out my room of everything that I didn't need and packed up clothes to donate.  After living all summer on <10 t-shirts and 3 pairs of shorts, a full closet suddenly isn't so important.  I don't want to look at all of my stuff... I just want to look at all of the pictures of the people that I left behind because it makes them seem just a little bit closer. 

Through all of this there are two things that will pull me along: God and the assurance that I know I will return.  And, with that, the big news! I have decided that I am going to go back to Honduras in May for an indefinite period.  Saying that I will be there for 1-2 years seems silly when I think about how I know I will be there for longer, so I will just say it is a semi-permanent move. 
I had felt called to go back around weeks 2-3, but I really just thought I was enjoying my time.  After praying about it for numerous weeks and delving deeper into real life in Honduras, I realized that it wasn't just a temporary feeling.  At that point, I talked to Tony about coming back and if it would be possible at all.  In true confirmation-of-Christ form, he looked at me and said, "I have been waiting for you to talk to me about this. But I don't see you staying for a 6 month period. I see you staying for a year, two years, or being here forever." WOW! If God hadn't already shown me that he was serious, he did then. The idea is that, when I return, I will be leading street ministry.  This means that I will bring mission groups like mine down into La Kennedy or other parts of Tegucigalpa to minister and love on people. After everything God has taught me about myself this summer, I cannot imagine a better alternative for the next chapter of my life.  Any fears I had about my future, a career, a family, etc. have been erased. I know that God is calling me back to Honduras to be his hands, his feet, and his voice. 

And so, I will join all of those before me who have left the United States and moved to Honduras for the Lord.

Because I will be there on my own, I will be required to raise money to support myself and the ministry.  This will come out to about $15 a day to live on the property and whatever else I would need to keep up street ministry/ extra living expenses.  I still will be going to school part time in the fall until I graduate in December, so I will be able to prepare myself financially at least to some extent. I will be working full time in the spring in order to save money as well. Before I get to Honduras, Tony would like me to help fundraise to build a casita, a little house, for myself and a few other missionaries.  All together it will be about $3,000.  The goal is that it will be done by May, but I would be so comforted if it were done by the end of 2013.  
If you would like to continue supporting me on this journey, there are a few ways you can help! The most obvious is financially.  It would be wonderful to gain monthly supporters, but I understand that sometimes it just isn't possible for some people.  In that case, I will accept any sort of donation. Literally, anything.  I won't start fundraising for living until we have raised all of the funds for our house, so I ask for any sort of donation for that project.  Of course, an equally important way to support me is through prayer.  I have always looked at the lives of missionaries and said, "I can't imagine what it's like to have to ask for money all of the time and gain support! I would never want to do that!" Of course, God probably laughed at me every time because that's exactly what I'm doing now.  Please keep me in your prayers through this new process for me and for the future that I will have in Honduras.

I thank you all so much for keeping up with my trip this summer, but please do not think that it is over now.  Because this blog is already up and going, I will be using it as my primary communication vessel. I will keep everyone updated and I will send out a more formal request for support in the future, but for now, I ask that you pray for me and for this new adventure on which I am about to embark.  
I love you all, God bless!  


The area in which we are hoping to construct the house is shown below.  The goal is that there will be two rooms- each with two bunk-beds. The roof will be reinforced and the area where the tent and chairs are sitting will be made into the two rooms.